Soothing and asking permission

214. "And He brought her to the man" (Beresheet 2:22). From this we learn that it is incumbent on the father and mother of the bride to transfer her to the charge of her bridegroom, as we read: "My daughter I have given to this man" (Devarim 22:16). Henceforward, the husband is to come to the wife, because the house is hers and not his. IT BEHOOVES HIM, THEREFORE, TO COME TO HER, as it is written: "And he went in to her" (Beresheet 29:23) and "And he went in also to Rachel" (Ibid. 30). In the beginning, it is written "and He brought her to the man" because not until the mother and father prepare her TO RECEIVE THE LIGHT OF CHASSADIM FROM ZEIR ANPIN will ZEIR ANPIN come to her. All the whole house is THE FEMALE'S. And he has to have her permission BEFORE MATING.

215. And upon this we commented, "And he lighted on a certain place, and tarried there" (Beresheet 28:11), meaning that he asked permission first. From this we learn that he who wants to mate with his wife must soothe her first and soften her with sweet talk. Failing to do so, he shall not sleep with her, because their desire must be mutual and without coercion.

216. "And tarried there all night, because the sun was set" teaches that sexual intercourse is forbidden during the day. "And he took of the stones of that place" (Ibid.). We have learned that even if a king has beds of gold and glorious bed gowns to sleep in, yet the matron prepared for him a bed of stones, he should leave his own and use what she has prepared, as it is written: "and lay down in this place," NAMELY ON THAT BED OF STONES.

217. Come and behold: It is written: "And the man said, This is now" (Beresheet 2:23). These are loving words, spoken to win a woman's affections, draw her closer to him, and arouse love within her. See how tender and how love enticing are the words, "A bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Ibid.). They show her that the two are one and inseparable.

218. And then he should praise her saying, "She shall be called woman" (Ibid.), WHICH MEANS she is peerless and the pride of the house. Other women, compared to her, are as apes before men. "She shall be called woman," perfect in every regard, she and no other. All those are loving words, similar to those in the verse, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all" (Mishlei 31:29).

219. "This is why a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Beresheet 2:24). This is to draw her to him with affection and to cleave to her. Because he was aroused toward her with those words, it is written: "And the serpent was cunning" (Beresheet 3:1). The Evil Inclination was awakened to embrace her, connect her with physical desires, and arouse her to other things in which the Evil Inclination delights.

220. Eventually, "the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and she took of the fruit, and did eat" (Ibid. 6). She received THE EVIL INCLINATION willingly AND LUSTFULLY. "And gave also to her husband with her," because she was lustfully aroused and wanted to win her husband's love and affection. These passages explain the process to people, as it occurs above BETWEEN THE UPPER MALE AND FEMALE. ALTHOUGH THE SCRIPTURE TALKS OF ADAM AND EVE BELOW, IT NEVERTHELESS ALLUDES PRINCIPALLY TO THE SUPERNAL MALE AND FEMALE, TO WHOM PEOPLE SHOULD ATTUNE THEIR ACTIONS.

221. Rabbi Elazar said: If it be so, THAT THE SCRIPTURE TALKS OF THE SUPERNAL MALE AND FEMALE, how do we account for the Evil Inclination overtaking the female, BECAUSE IT IS INCONCEIVABLE THAT THE EVIL INCLINATION CAN AFFECT THE SUPERNAL FEMALE. He said to him: I HAVE ALREADY EXPLAINED, some things pertain to the upper realms and others to the lower, MEANING THOSE HAPPENINGS IN THE UPPER APPLY TO THE LOWER, WHICH ARE THEIR BRANCHES. EVERYTHING IN THE LOWER HAS A ROOT IN THE UPPER, FROM WHENCE IT IS DRAWN AND GROWS. HENCE the Good and Evil Inclinations ARE DRAWN FROM THEIR UPPER ROOTS, the good from the right and the evil from the left. The supernal left, THE UPPER LEFT COLUMN FROM WHICH THE EVIL INCLINATION IS DRAWN, embraces the body, or the female, to join with it as one. As it is written: "His left hand is under my head" (Shir Hashirim 2:6). Hence, the scripture was explained both in terms of the upper MALE AND FEMALE, and of the lower, ADAM AND EVE. From this point on, the account is smeared slightly with tar, WHICH MEANS THAT IT IS EASY TO UNDERSTAND HOW THE LOWER RELATES TO THE UPPER, and even the smallest child can elucidate on this matter. And the friends have discussed it.